Have you ever been around a child that constantly asks “Why?” After a short amount of time you quickly want to blanket each of the child’s answers with the word “BECAUSE!” and move on. It can be exhausting. When I was growing up I didn’t really question my mom or dad’s judgement (well, not out loud anyway) because the frequent answer from The Colonel was “Because I said so.” To be quite honest that doesn’t really leave much wiggle room for a rebuttal.
I know many of you have read The Colonel Chronicles and you have already heard me describe July 4th weekend for us this year. The more I think about that these days the more I am just convinced that it was a pure miracle from God that The Colonel was able to travel that weekend. Not only did he get to go to the beach and have a good time with his family but, we were even able to make it home for grilled steaks at the house of some of our favorite people on earth!
As I am reading through my Dad’s devotion book I am paying close attention to the things he hilighted. Yes, it is yellow. That man did love a yellow hilighter. It gives us some insight on what was going on in his head at the time. The entry on July 8th (just a few days after our miracle trip to the beach and the yummy grilled steaks) has this hilighted:
“Yet realize that God has permitted your hardship for a reason – it isn’t random, and God isn’t being unkind. Though God doesn’t cause all of your troubles, he allows them so you’ll trust him more and discover his abundant life. God uses everything that comes into your life for good. So when you cry out to him for wisdom, expect him to answer. And even if he doesn’t give you understanding immediately, be confident that he has an important reason for all he allows.
I am going to assume that The Colonel was wondering “why”. I bet he thought about that and prayed about that.
I am certainly moving through the good ol’ stages of grief. But, I have wondered this week, “Why?” I have not been angry or yelled it out (but God would understand it if I did and wouldn’t be mad about it) but I have just wondered what God’s plan is through all of this. Isn’t is possible that God could accomplish His sovereign plan and still let my Daddy be here? Doesn’t He know how badly our hearts are hurting? And the answer to all of that is….YES. Yes, yes, yes.
I was in the just the right place and time to catch part of a sermon on the radio last night. The pastor was talking about the storms of life. He said that we could say“I don’t understand it. I don’t like it. I don’t want it. BUT, God, leave me here in this storm, in this dark place, in these rough waters until you have accomplished your ultimate perfect plan.” Whew – that is big. I made that my prayer. My Mom has said all along, “Lord please don’t waste our grief and pain.”
God is gently laying His hand on my shoulder and saying “Because I said so.” Ok, Lord, I understand that part and I trust You completely.
“Your righteousness, O God, reaches to the highest heavens. You have done such wonderful things. Who can compare with you, O God? You have allowed me to suffer much hardship, but you will restore me to life again and lift me up from the depths of the earth. You will restore me to even greater honor and comfort me once again.” Psalm 71:19-21